Back-to-School Blues

 Getting back into the “back-to-school” routine can be a difficult transition for kids and bring out a host worries from the anxiety closet along with the new school outfit.

Not only do bedtimes and mornings come earlier, but the transition to a new classroom, a new teacher, a new unit, or even a new school can bring up certain anxieties or regressions in children. 

Here are 12 ways you can ease those back to school stressors and help make your child’s transition to the classroom easier; (note: if anxieties become especially intense, please consult a doctor or therapist).

1.     TURN OFF THE NEWS:  Turn off the news – keep the paper out of view, turn off the internet, the radio and tv news. Try not to talk about world events around your children for the next month or so, until they have settled in to their school year.

2.     ROUTINES: Make your home inviting, safe, and comforting. Keep – or reinstate – your routines. Be at school pick up right on time. Keep bedtimes steadfast and a regular dinner hour. Be predictable; keep your word. Kids need to know they can rely on you right now.

3.     CREATE A COZY HOME: Days are getting shorter and colder. Make your home warm and inviting by turning off the overhead lights and use ambient lighting. Light a candle at dinner time; add a flower in a vase. Set out throws and pillows. A stuffed animal. Keep it simple.

4.      MAKE DINNER: Before the sports schedules get crazy, start having dinner as a family again. Don't talk about school or homework. Tell them something funny about your day. Keep it light. Laughter is good. Have a warm cooked meal. Put on some music. Family warmth is important now.

5.     SIT AND STUDY: Sit with you student. Perhaps not at the table, but nearby. Maybe you have something to read, or sew  -- pick up that old knitting, or grab a magazine. Try to stay off of your computer –  that tends to zone us out. Be a light and nearby presence for your child. Be nearby and available, while also giving them space.

6.   UNPLUG: Have a cut-off time when the Internet goes off for the evening and collect their computers  at night and put them in YOUR closet.  This will prevent kids from staying up too late texting friends or getting onto websites that are inappropriate for their age. In THE BIG DISCONNECT by Catherine Steiner-Adair, she advises that computers be used out in common areas and not be taken into bedrooms so that parents can oversee their use.

7.     FEED YOUR CHILD WELL: Eggs or oatmeal or pancakes in the morning are a good sendoff; send a heartier meal for lunch, and then a sit down dinner; a warm, well-made meal can help soothe back-to-school jitters.

8.     ENGAGE ALL THE SENSES: Go outside for a walk in nature; spend some time after school outside. Bring nature indoors; pick a flower or some branches, leaves, pine cones and put them in the kitchen or on the dining room table.  Sometimes pleasant scents (such as baking cookies, peppermints, or citrus scents) can uplift mood.

9.     CALL ME: Tell your child that they can call or text you any time during the day if they are worried or have a question. Let your kid know the schedule or plan for the day the night before and write it down on an index card. Write an encouraging note and include it in their lunch.

10. BELIEVE IN THEM: Tell them you believe in them and that you are there for them no matter what. Sometimes kids like hearing stories about when you were afraid or were starting something new as a kid, how you felt, and how your got through it, and how it worked out. Share those stories with them. 

11. READ TO THEM AT BEDTIME: Now is also a good time to (re)start reading to your child at night. Pick out a story you have enjoyed together in the past.

12.  REST: Take time for yourself. As a caregiver or parent, you are also going through this transition. Cut back on your workload if you can; say no to extracurricular activities for a time.

Good luck! New beginnings are exciting and challenging times. Face them with courage and compassion, for yourself and your child, and this too shall pass.

DYN-O-MITE

I had a weird childhood. My dad worked in children's book publishing. So did my uncle. And my grandfather.

As a toddler, I would roam the halls of Scholastic and run into (literally) the founder of Scholastic, Maurice (Robbie) Robinson. As I grew steadier on my feet, I would peek into the offices of editors and publicists and look for the latest book or a Dynamite magazine.

There was this one guy. Dad called him "Jovial Bob." He was the editor of Bananas. You remember BANANAS - that funny, cool magazine for kids in the 1970s.  Dad would make me walk down the hall to Jovial Bob's office to ask for the latest issue in person. Jovial Bob was funny, but a little intimidating. His humor... dark. My love of Bananas was strong, however. I would muster my courage, enter his office, and brave his riddles in order to win a copy.

*******************************************************************

A few years ago, I ran into "Jovial Bob" -- my childhood go-to guy for BANANAS. He was signing books after a reading at the NC Literary Festival in Chapel Hill.

I waited for an hour to get an autograph. When it was my turn, I stood before Jovial Bob sheepishly without a book to sign.

 "I'm on an austerity budget," I explained, "Do you mind signing my program?"

"What do you need? A loan?" he said reaching for his wallet.

 "No.  I just wanted to say 'hi.'  Dad sends 'Jovial Bob' his regards."

"Who is your dad?" asked Jovial Bob, aka R.L. Stine, his royal highness of horror, who seemed surprised to hear the name of his alter ego.

After some pleasantries, Jovial Bob realized that I was that little kid who was always bugging him for BANANAS, those many years ago.

I told Mr. Stine that, while I admired his success with Goosebumps, they were too scary for me! I still preferred his work in Bananas. I tried my best to lure him back to the funny side. He looked unconvinced. Someone from the crowd yelled, "I loved Bananas, too!" (The educational publisher's version of "Freebird" at a book signing.)

RL Stine's trick for writing scary stories for kids:  
"How do I make them scary without causing too many goosebumps? The secret is to never make the story seem real. It has to seem like fantasy. The reader can't believe it could ever really happen."

 It was great to see Jovial Bob again. He is the master at what he does.

Time flies. Enjoy your Halloween, my dearies.

Love,
Amy C. Spaulding
Sleepy Hollow Books

(Photo credit for Dynamite Magazine cover -- copyright: Scholastic, Inc.)
(Photo credit of fan photo [Amy C. Spaulding with author R.L. Stine] --  courtesy of Sleepy Hollow Books)

Spectacle

6th Grade. 1976.

I was a brainiac. A super student.

But at the start of the school year, I couldn’t pay attention. Couldn’t concentrate. Couldn’t “get” the work the teacher was doing on the board. I just couldn’t seem to FOCUS.

Maybe I was dumb after all.

My smart mother took me to the optometrist.

Confirmed. I couldn’t see!  I needed glasses.

I cried. Right there in Mr. Optometrist’s office.  My life was ruined. 

“Don’t cry,” he said, starting to cry, too.

I got a pair of rimless glasses. “Just like not wearing glasses at all,” he said.

I cried harder.

Moral of the story: Get your KID’S eyes checked regularly.

Glasses are (now) cool.


(Illustration is by Ellen Raskin from her book SPECTACLES.)

Why I love living in North Carolina

A writer on every block...

White Sea Turtle

I went behind the scenes this weekend at the NC Aquarium at Pine Knoll Shores. We got to see this cute little guy close up, along with other rescued hatchlings that are being cared for by Michele Lamping -- one of the world's leading experts of sea turtle husbandry. Here is the link for more information about this special little fellow:
http://www.ncaquariums.com/what-would-you-name-a-white-sea-turtle
The NC Aquarium is running a contest to help name the turtle... give it a try!

HALLOWEEN!

Why do we love Halloween?

At Halloween we can be playful AND spooky without being too serious. We can play with our darker impulses during the holiday without acting on them. We can bring our shadows into light.

Books are a good place to grapple with the shadow. Peter Pan had his shadow. When he lost it, he returned to Wendy so she could sew it back on. GOOSEBUMPS has long been a series favorite. Now vampire tomes for teens and young adults flood the market. Our cultural shadow continues to morph and each generation draws its outline differently.

I have always enjoyed Halloween. I loved dressing up in costumes and looting neighborhood candy bowls. “Arghhh. Hand over your Snickers, Matey!” One Halloween I dressed up as "Laura" from LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE in a sunbonnet and gingham dress. Another year I was a hobo. More creative costumes usually involved wearing a painted cardboard box.

In retrospect, my favorite costume was the one my Mom made 5 minutes before my bus came.

“Mom--- Mom---Mom. I have a Halloween parade at school today. I need a costume.”

Mom headed to the linen closet. She grabbed a white sheet and her pinking shears. She cut out eyeholes, threw the sheet over my head, tied a red yarn ribbon around my neck and pushed me out the door.

“There, you’re a ghost. Go catch your bus.”

“But, Mom, I don’t wanna be a ghost,” I whined.

Slam. Door shut, case closed.

“Yay. Boo.” I said as I dragged my dingy gray Chuck Taylors to the bus stop wearing my sad little ghost costume.

Mom never had a problem with her shadow.

(Photo credit: "Halloween in Sleepy Hollow, 1978", by Emilie Spaulding)

The Hokey Pokey: What I Learned at the 2009 NC Literary Festival at UNC

Kids love funny. They love spooky. Kids love characters that make them laugh and shriek. If it’s going to be spooky – it better be funny spooky.

The two rock stars of the Children’s tent on Saturday at the 2009 NC Literary Festival were R.L. Stine and Judy Schachner – the authors of the Goosebumps and Skippyjon Jones series respectively.

Both were amazing presenters. They were highly interactive with their audience and involved the children in the telling of their stories. They had their programs well-rehearsed. They were playful, spontaneous and professional. They had the mastery of an unruly crowd that rivaled that of any elementary school teacher.

One author did highly personalized dedications and the line extended and snaked on at the book signing for over two hours. Now that’s the way to create a buzz. Everyone who passed asked, “What’s the line for?” like they were ready to jump on it – whether for winter boots or ice cream sandwiches.

It was totally worth the wait, because this author is a talented, lovely, and magnetic creative genius. I noticed, however, that the 12:00 noon hour for book-signings was torture for hungry and hot toddlers who have the patience of three-year-olds. Or for me.

The other author did not do personalized dedications, but simply signed, and took pictures with adoring fans. There was a two book maximum for signings and the crowd moved much more quickly through the book-signing process. We felt equally happy and attended to.

What I couldn’t get over was how darn nice and talented these authors are. Their patience and good-humor bordered on saint-like. Maybe the most important thing I learned from watching them work the crowd and do their thing is that, above all, they knew that children want to laugh, or shriek, and be entertained. These authors are great entertainers – on paper and in person.

Both authors voiced their belief that when a kid falls in love with a book or a character, that kid wants to read more and more – and that’s what it’s all about.

SHOUT OUT: Clay Carmichael read from her YA book, WILD THINGS. Zoe, her 12-year-old protagonist, has the sassy charm of Tatum O’Neal’s “Addie” in Paper Moon; she says those things you’d wished you’d thought of and is made for the silver screen. Catch WILD THINGS at a local bookstore near you…before Zoe goes Hollywood on us.

Musica Universalis

There can never be too much silence for me.

I hear everything -- the refrigerator rumbling, the cicadas clicking, the truck changing gears down the street. I hear the dogs sighing in the heat. I hear the tick-ticking of the wall clock, the crick of an ankle changing position. I hear a leaf falling to the ground, the scritch of bird shifting on a branch as it eats its berries outside my window.

I hear spiders singing to their children as they roll their egg pouch in silks. I hear the banana tree grow, the earthworm move and wriggle and tell all its friends about the time I dissected his great, great... great uncle in science class. I hear mosquitoes think about biting me.

I hear snakes shed their skin and new layers of bark slowly being added to the dogwood. I hear the mosses clinging to the hill and the rock mumbling "sorry" to the patch of grasses it has lain on for the past centuries.

I hear the spokes of a bike whistling in the wind and the frog's leaping toadstool slowly decaying in the crunchy wood. I can hear the trees thinking, dolphins playing, the sprites gathering in a cloudless form above me, waiting for me to talk back. I hear meadow heather whispering on purple plains -- they are very nearly shouting in their silence.

The Sunflowers in Tuscany are practically a riot of color and business -- stretching for miles and miles as we shoot past them on the train -- all yelling in unison -- "Slow Down. What's your hurry? You are so small. We -- so vast. What is so important anyway? We are here. Stay awhile and we will swallow you up."

I hear the waves lash the shores of Lake Winnipesaukee at night saying, "Nevermore, nevermore," over and over. Death is coming and they will keep talking and singing and humming. "Life is short. Slow it down a bit. And Listen. We have something to tell you that only we can tell -- and you will never be this way again."

I can hear butterflies flap their wings and pollen shouting "Wheeeeeeeee!" on the breeze. I can hear asphalt sizzle and water seep into the thirsty earth. I can hear the whole Earth humming and rocking and rolling and working and breathing and it is a symphony -- a cosmic kazoo -- a tissue-papered comb -- a planetary musical -- the music of the spheres.

Even my eyes can hear things not spoken. My ears can smell things and taste them and feel them. My ears are magic and bring me the intelligences of all sound.

My favorite movie as a child was DUMBO. Dumbo had the world's biggest ears and could fly. I always loved that -- that one's ears could set oneself free -- unchained from gravity.

I don't hear people talking to me when I am thinking. Can't listen to 2 conversations at once. I can't talk and listen to the radio at the same time.

But I can hear the moon spinning and that's enough for me.

Photo credit: Sleepy Hollow Books